Legacy

I sometimes think that the greatest achievement of Dick Cheney after 8 years in the Whitehouse is the way he managed to change the term ‘Oversight Committee’ to ‘Overlook Committee’.

Nice one, Dick.

Father Ted Found Alive!!!

...and committing genocide in Serbia!

That Dermot Morgan. What a card!

Smug Shots

Wonderful word SMUG.

Just four little letters and yet conveys so much. There must be equivalent words in other languages but I doubt that any of them could coin such a nuanced idea with such little effort.

The other day I was reading an article about mapping the human genome and there was a photo of Craig Venter. And Craig Venter was looking smug. Because Craig Venter always looks smug. He just has one of those faces. It emits smugness to a point that you just want to put a boot into it. Bless him, he can’t help it.

Then I got to thinking what other public figures have that smug look. Now I’m not talking about those ‘proud’ or ‘arrogant’ or ‘massive ego’ looks. No, it has to be that superior, self satisfied shit-eating grin that you just know belies some deep seated insecurity.

So, I’ll throw a few examples of what I currently consider to be the smuggest mugs to grace our magazine covers and television screens and see if you lot can add with a few more to the line up:

Craig Venter

Nicholas Sarkozy






Matthew McConaughey



Hillary Clinton







Bono



Michael Schumacher









Mike Myers

Richard Branson









Sting


and of course Tom Cruise

Now look at all these photos very carefully. Do you notice anything? Exactly the same expression in all of their eyes. Twenty-one carrat, uncut smugness. I'm not kidding, look again.

So what other celebs would you classify as prize smug bastards?

Occupational Hazards

A bit of embarrassment while out dining with a friend JM and his wife IM this weekend. IM had left her job at an optician’s about six month previously and set up on her own. She was still on good terms with her old boss and was flattered to find out that he was having a lot of trouble finding someone to replace her.

They did find one guy to take her place and for a while things seemed to be going peachy. However there was a catch. This dude was schizophrenic, which wasn’t a problem while he was on his meds. Sadly he had a history of periodically going off his pills and it didn’t take long before he started skipping while at the optician’s.

At this point the sick bastard that is my imagination took over and I started giggling uncontrollably in the restaurant. People were staring and my friends had to inquire as to the source of such amusement.

‘Oh come on. A schizophrenic optician?
“WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME! STOP STARING AT ME! THE EYES, AAAAGH, THE EYES!”’

Yeah, I know. I’ll burn in Hell.

So what other occupations can you think of that might have some comic potential for schizos?

Ideas to Make a Million Nº. 745(b)

Wii Foreplay.

That is all.