The World's Smallest Warden (UPDATES at the bottom)

Yeah, it’s been a while hasn’t it? It’s just so much less effort being a commentary parasite on other peoples blogs than having to think up my own postings. So, what’s new then?

Well, recently I have;

Been screamed at,
Kicked,
Urinated on,
Suffered sleep deprivation,
Forced to clean excrement,
Had fingers stuck into my eyes,
Forcibly confined in an enclosed space for long stretches,
Condemned for my actions,
Condemned for my inaction,
Suffered panic attacks,
And denied the right to free association.

Amazing how much Abu Ghraib inmates have in common with first time parents.

-----------------------------UPDATE-----------------------------
(brought to you by Lung the Elder)

A conversation between Mohammad and Ahmet in Baghdad ...

M: Hey, Ahmet, how's it going?
A: Oh, hiya Mohammad ... didn't see you there ...
M: Man, you look like shit! Where have you been?
A: Abu Ghraib, actually ...
M: NO! Oh, man, I'm so sorry ... what happend?
A: Well, I've been pissed on, kicked, had my eyes poked, and been denied sleep ...
M: That's awful!
A: Well ... yeah ... I guess ... but you know, it's not so bad ...
M: What do you mean?? "Not so bad"???
A: Well ... yes, I've been abused, but ... well, it's hard to explain ... I mean, being tortured is awful, but ... well, you really feel like you're part of the human race, you know? Like "I'm finally doing something significant" ...
M: But, but ... it can't be worth all that?
A: No ... I mean, you don't get anything out of it really ... it's not about "me" ... there's no point in thinking about it in those terms ... but you feel like you're part of something bigger than yourself ... and you can't imagine your life without it after that ..
M: I don't know ... it sounds like a raw deal to me ...
A: I know you can't understand this .. but the first time you hear your interrogator say your name, it's ... well, it's just priceless ...
M: Hmmm ...
A: And sometimes you get unexpected moments of joy ... sure, mostly you're just sleep-deprived and being pissed on, but sometimes while they're pissing on you ... well, they smile ... and it just lifts you up ...
M: !!!!!

My theory is that parenting only succeeds because parents suffer from "Stockholm Syndrome" ...