The Lung Brothers

Hanging out at the extreme end of the long tail ...

Friday, April 22, 2005

Talent Recognises Genius

Yesterday, Lung the Elder pitched what has to be the best idea for a film that I’ve heard in years.

A whacky, road movie where Bobby Fischer and Cat Stevens (AKA Yusuf Islam) travel across the States together avoiding arrest from the Feds. The whole thing could be livened up with a snappy soundtrack from ZZ top, thereby working in the twin beard motif again. Think of ‘Midnight Run’ or ‘Thelma and Louise’ but with more depth and pathos.

They would have to be pursued by some comical FBI agent who could be played by Tommy Lee Jones (although he’s played that role a little too often already) or maybe Cuba Gooding Jr. - crappy road movies are obviously not beneath him. There could be various scenes where zany duo give the goofy Feds the slip using their special abilities as ex-world chess champion and ..erm… devout Muslim who once wrote ‘Morning Has Broken’.

There could also be a few humorous scenes where the two argue with each other. Bobby can’t concentrate on his Luzhin defence because Yusuf’s playing the Imam’s morning prayers too loud over the radio or maybe an exasperated Yusuf throws Bobby’s ‘Learn Icelandic in 12 Easy Steps’ tapes out of the window. There’s a lot of potential here, people.

So, here’s the deal. We’re going to open this one to the floor. How do you think this scenario could be improved? Should the trip be made in a van, a Chevy or on choppers? How do we work in some romantic interest and who should play it? Which director would be up to the task?

We await the fruits of your wisdom in our comments box.


Mode of Transport:
Thanks for the input, WH. You’re definitely onto something with the body in the trunk premise and I reckon we can settle on van or mobile home as vehicle of preference. The space inside would be small enough to give us cramped dramatic tension but just big enough for tracking shots.

Romantic Interest:
Yeah Meg Ryan’s irritating, chirpy nature would play off well against Fischer’s and Islam’s stoic temperaments. However, I can’t help thinking that if I was stuck in a van with her on a long road trip, burka or no burka, she’d eventually drive me batshit and I’d probably end up chucking her off a bridge somewhere in Idaho.

Rico, a good friend, came out with an inspired alternative as a candidate for romantic interest, Arundhadi Roy. No, hear me out. She’s got the looks, she’s got the politics and I could just imagine Bob and Cat (sorry, I mean Yus) having a jealous spat over her. Although, in fairness to WH, the Rook surname is just too good an idea to pass up.

Now we are missing one of the most important aspects of the story here. As with the chicken crossing the road, we have to ask why, Yusuf Islam and Bobby Fischer are crossing America in a van/mobile home. Is it for romantic reasons (A Sure Thing)? Is it for financial reasons (Rain Man)? Is it to attend a show or competition of some kind (Pricilla, Queen of the Desert)? Running away for emotional reasons (Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore)? What would be their motivation?

We await your sage pearls of creativity.


Blogger Weary Hag said...

Great film idea and if I were an entirely different person, I'd offer you monies to push-start your creation. Now, if you're going to stick them in a van, you must remember it's almost required that there be a dismembered body in the back, rolled up in a carpet. The romantic twist could come about with Meg Ryan as hitch-hiking babe wearing a burkah. Her last name could be Rook. This way both Fischer and Stevens would be immediately attracted. That guy with the unpronounceable name who makes all the wierd films like The Village and Signs, would probably be up to the task of directing. One request though - could you ask him for the love of everything sacred to please make them hold the damn camera still?
Sorry for the lengthy comment. But then, you asked.

12:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This type of lunacy is why the Lung Brothers are an essential part of my intellectual diet for Monday morning. I am too confused trying to imagine the soundtrack (rai, sixties ballads and icelandic folk music would all have to feature) to offer any suggestions


10:35 am  
Blogger Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

The road trip is to escape authorities that suspect them of aiding terrorists.

They're innocent and guilty of no more than some cultural misanthropy. They have to voyage cross country to foil an attempt to launch the space needle and clear their name.

It all begins with a coffeeshop mishap where they meet, arguing over natural vs. aritificial sweeteners. Things get heated, and when Yusef throws a coffee and accidentally scalds Kathleen Harris, the government starts their hunt.

Wow, I really lost my focus there. I need to step back and rework my script back into coherence.

Excuse me.

4:18 pm  
Blogger Herge Smith said...

Y'know the journey itself could be the reason to do it, like in easy rider... they gone to find america and themselves.

I tried to find myself once, unfortuneately i was out.

Do you think Mr Previously known as Stevens is ready for a new movie career?

11:02 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But good God man! Where's the martial arts?


6:02 pm  

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