The Lung Brothers

Hanging out at the extreme end of the long tail ...

Friday, March 25, 2005

Of Blonds and Wasted One-liners.

One of those one-liners where you wish that more people were there to witness it.

Matt was a strapping, blond American who lived in Barcelona a few years ago and then finally went home to, you guessed it, go to Law School.

Why is it that half of the Americans that I’ve met in Europe were always contemplating a return home so that they could attend this mythical Law School? Do they all have some sort of judicial migration instinct drilled into them from birth or what? Spain doesn’t have that many lawyers and that’s why it can feel free to release charging bulls onto streets filled with it’s own citizens and not have to worry about litigation. The attitude is ‘Well, if you didn’t want to be trampled by bulls, what the Hell were you doing there in the first place?’ So people generally take responsibility for their own stupidity. Lung the Elder calls it, ‘Grown-up-Land’.

Anyway, back to Matt. We all thought that Matt was secretly a bright enough guy but he was always putting on the act of a dumb, aw-shucks, good-natured hick because that was what seemed to work best with the local señoritas. I guess you could have called him a bit of a bit of a Himbo. The first time I met Matt the conversation went:

LtY: ‘So, which part of the States are you from anyway?’

M: ‘I’m from Des Moines, Iowa. Do you know Des Moines?’

LtY: ‘Sure I do. Des Moines is where the Irish dig for coal.’

M: ‘Huh?’

LtY: ‘What? You bastard. That was my best one-liner in years and you don’t even GET it?’

M: ‘Huh?’

LtY: ‘Look, if you pronounce Des Moines in an Irish accent....Oh forget it. Barman, more beer!’

M: ‘Uuh..... yeah. More beer!’

Like I say, a bit of a Himbo. I wonder what type of lawyer he turned out to be?

2 Comments:

Anonymous wantwit said...

great description of spain.

12:07 pm  
Blogger Weary Hag said...

Lovin' the Irish one-liner. Iowa - there's nothing there but a whole lot of flat. That's probably why Matt couldn't grasp the joke. Had you told it alongside a cow pasture or cornfield, it might have been better received.

11:46 pm  

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